Short timer's lament
Thu Jan 24 07:21:20 2002
24.60.56.72

A friend sent me this. I thought it was pretty funny.

The Navy Ah - the Navy - It's an adventure ... the suggestions below are made on behalf of those who think the Navy is a "TOP GUN" existence. You know, those who watched one too many episodes of JAG, and think that all Navy life is glamorous.

U.S. Navy Official Web Site - image of modern ships with USS Constitution behind U.S. Navy Official Web Site - image of modern ships with USS Constitution behind
U.S. Navy Official Web Site - image of modern ships with USS Constitution behind U.S. Navy Official Web Site - image of modern ships with USS Constitution behind
U.S. Navy Official Web Site - image of modern ships with USS Constitution behind U.S. Navy Official Web Site - image of modern ships with USS Constitution behind
U.S. Navy Official Web Site - image of modern ships with USS Constitution behind U.S. Navy Official Web Site - image of modern ships with USS Constitution behind

To experience Navy life, try a couple of these - right in the comfort of your own homes.

1. Buy a dumpster, paint it gray and live in it for 6 months straight.

2. Run all of the piping and wires in your house on the outside of the walls.

3. Pump 10 inches of nasty, crappy water into your basement, then pump it out, clean up, and paint the basement "deck gray."

4. Every couple of weeks, dress up in your best clothes and go the scummiest part of town, find the most run down, trashy bar you can, pay $10 per beer until you're hammered, then walk home in the freezing cold.

5. Perform a weekly disassembly and inspection of your lawn mower.

6. On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays turn your water temperature up to 200 degrees, then on Tuesday and Thursday turn it down to 10 degrees. On Saturdays, and Sundays declare to your entire family that they used too much water during the week, so all showering is secured.

7. Raise your bed to within 6 inches of the ceiling.

8. Have your next door neighbor come over each day at 5am, and blow a whistle so loud that Helen Keller could hear it and shout "Reveille, Reveille, all hands heave out and trice up."

9. Have your mother-in-law write down everything she's going to do the following day, then have her make you stand in the back yard at 6am and read it to you.

10. Eat the raunchiest Mexican food you can find for three days straight, then lock the bathroom door for 12 hours, and hang a sign on it that reads "Secured - contact Eng DIV at X-3053."

At sea aboard USS Carl Vinson, Jan. 5, 2002 — USS Carl Vinson (CVN 70) launches a Sea Sparrow during a missile launch exercise while the ship was sailing toward Hawaii. Sea Sparrow is a surface-to-air anti-missile defense system. The Bremerton, Wash.,-based Carl Vinson and her battle group are returning home after completing a regularly-scheduled deployment in support of Operation Enduring Freedom. U.S. Navy photo by Photographer's Mate 3rd Class Martin S. Fuentes. [020105-N-5555F-001] Jan. 5, 2002 11. Submit a request form to your father-in-law, asking if it's ok for you to leave your house before 3pm.

12. Invite 200 of your not-so-closest friends to come over, then board up all the windows and doors to your house for 6 months. After the 6 months is up, take down the boards, and since you're on duty, wave at your friends and family through the front window of your home...you can't leave until the next day.

13. Shower with above-mentioned friends.

14. Make your family qualify to operate all the appliances in your home (i.e. Dishwasher operator, blender technician, etc)

15. Walk around your car for 4 hours checking the tire pressure every 15 minutes.

16. Sit in your car and let it run for 4 hours before going anywhere. This is to ensure your engine is properly "lit off".

17. Empty all the garbage bins in your house, and sweep your driveway 3 times a day, whether they need it or not.

18. Repaint your entire house once a month.

19. Cook all of your food blindfolded, groping for any spice and seasoning you can get your hands on.

20. Have your neighbor collect all your mail for a month, randomly losing every 5th item.

21. Spend $20,000 on a satellite system for your TV, but only watch CNN and the Weather Channel.

22. Have your 5-year-old cousin give you a haircut with goat shears.

23. Sew back pockets to the front of your pants.

24. Spend 2 weeks in the red-light districts of Europe, and call it "world travel."

25. Attempt to spend 5 years working at McDonalds, and NOT get promoted.

26. Needle gun the aluminum siding on your house after your neighbors have gone to bed.


Join the US Navy; The US Navy's Official Website  click here




2025 © www.YorktownSailor.com