MEMORANDUM
(The following memo appeared on bulletin boards
on the USS Yorktown after the Japanese surrender)
FROM: CINCPAC
TO: USS YORKTOWN PERSONNEL
SUBJECT: RETURNING TO CIVILIAN LIFE
In America there is a remarkable number of beautiful girls. These young girls HAVE NOT been liberated. Contrary to current practices they should not be approached with "how much?" A proper greeting is "isn't it a lovely day?" or "have you ever been to Kansas City?" then say "How much."
A guest in a private home is usually awakened in the morning by a light tapping on the door and an invitation to join the host at breakfast. It is proper to say "I'll be there shortly." Do not say "Blow it out your ass."
Belching or passing wind in company is strictly frowned upon. If you should forget about it, however, and belch in the presence of others, a proper remark is "Excuse me." Do not say "It must be the lousy chow we've been getting."
American dinners, in most cases, consist of several items, each served on separate dishes and not on a single tin tray. The common practice of mixing various items, such as corned beef and pudding, or lima beans and peaches to make it more palatable will be refrained from.
Personnel attached to aircraft carriers should make a special effort to restrain themselves while relating stories of actions with the enemy. Airmen should be exceptionally careful with their hands while explaining maneuvers of their aircraft while engaging Jap planes-you may gouge someone's eye out or goose the wrong party.
Gun crews should refrain from making noises such as "brrrt-brrrt" and "tat-aaatt-a-at-t-t-" representing how they shot down a "zoot suiter." These gestures are unbecoming to naval personnel. It is permissible, however for the airmen to use "zooms" and for the gun crews to say, "Bang, bang!" This should be limited to two "zooms" and three sets of "bang-bangs" for each twenty minutes. The expression "Splash" may also be used sparingly...
M.I.E. Post
by direction
US NAVY Press Release: The following is being transmitted around the Internet as an event that really took place, but it never happened. It is simply an old joke like those found in popular magazines:
"Believe it or not...this is the transcript of an actual radio conversation between a US naval ship and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. The Radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on Oct. 10, 1995.
US Ship: Please divert your course 0.5 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.
CND reply: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.
US Ship: This is the Captain of a US Navy Ship. I say again, divert your course.
CND reply: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course!
US Ship: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS CORAL SEA*, WE ARE A LARGE WARSHIP OF THE US NAVY. DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW!!
*Note: USS Coral Sea (CV 43) was decommissioned and scrapped 2 July 1993. Other ships' names appearing have been USS Missouri (BB 63) which was decommissioned on 31 March 1992 and USS Nimitz (CVN 68) which is an active ship.
US Navy Press Release 1997
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