Yorktown Photo Lab Christmas Card 1969

This is a story written jointly by PH2 Steve Freund and PH2 Dan Bernath. Dan: We had a PH1 in our division who was an Atlantic Navy sailor. We were basically Pacific Sailors who somehow ended up in the Atlantic. Steve was on the Essex and spend about a year at Cam Rahn Bay Vietnam. I spent about a year on the Kearsarge. PH2 Jim Taylor was a bit different. I think he spent all his Navy career in the Atlantic region on bases or at sea or squadrons. He wasn't real big on bathing. He wasn't a big fan of the Navy's spit and polish and he likely never made it to Chief because the Chief who did his quarter reports was always on his ass about this and that and said "you are too close to the men", meaning he bumbed around with the Airmen, PH3s and PH2s rather than other PH1s and Chiefs.
PH1 Taylor announced one day, "Hey we've got to do our PhotoLab Christmas card for 1969!" We said, "

what?" PH1, "Oh yeah, it's expected of us. We do a goofy picture of the whole division, we're wearing something different and then we print it up and send it to all the photo labs and the Navy Photo School. EVERYONE DOES IT!" So Steve and I thought that it must be an Atlantic Navy thing because from the Pacific we never heard of such a thing.

We were out to sea and the day of the picture was announced. I had traded my US Navy hat for a French Sailor's hat. On the brim were the words Coup de SOMETHING. So I put that hat on with the words coup d'état after "Coup". It was my 20 year sense of humor.

The XO used to put on the front page of the daily orders a picture of "The (Fresh) Water Story" It told us how full or empty the Yorktown's fresh water tanks were and that was to encourage us to take shorter Navy showers, or don't drink the bug juice or something. We of course ignored his cartoon and smiley on the chart when the tanks got fuller and frown face when the chart showed the tanks with less fresh water. Respectfully XO, we didn't give a shit.
So Steve, took his big gray mug that he stole from some beer garden in Germany and made a chart, 'THE BEER STORY' with beer increasing and a smiley face.

And of course, every photo lab needs a Nazi. I told you the Nazi story earlier and Airman Bauer wore his Nazi uniform. (see below)
We took the picture and using gov't materials, made it up and had it printed up.
Steve and I were set to go on leave. PH1 Taylor, like a kid on Christmas morning so so happy! He promised to mail it to every photo lab in the fleet, the A schools, HQ, all the buddies he had around the fleet. Frankly my dear, I didn't give a damn. I was a citizen sailor and wanted to go home to chase some local Detroit girls. PH1 Taylor said he would send a copy to my address in Detroit while I was on leave (he was so proud).
By the way, the Chief of course knew nothing about this all, so PH1 Taylor just took a formal Navy portrait that was laying around of the Chief and put his picture at the botton of this picture interpreted by some as being subversive.

Says Steve: It was over pretty quick. I came on board. Told to go to XO. He grilled me about how, why we did such a stupid thing. That is sort of the defense I was trying, which was really the truth. The picture was just a bunch of foolish young people getting out of hand. So I went through each little event trying to make it sound a little more
innocent that it looked to the Navy.

Steve

The big picture fiasco.

We had finished the NATO cruise. I never found out what this was all about till years later. Realized we were never told anything and just went along. Still likely don't know what we were really doing,

objective, goals etc.

I digress.

Coming back from the cruise that didn't seem to accomplish anything but get a few guys killed. One got hit by stepping in front of a London bus. His fault, just looked the wrong way. There was a pretty nice dent in the front of the bus. Had to take that picture. Not messy, just a dent.

One entire helo crew went in the drink (killing all 4 crewmen). Seems I remember they thought the pilot might have gotten vertigo and just drove the helo down into
the water. Nothing as I recall was ever recovered.

30 days in the artic chasing russian subs likely was a little tiring too.

So, we are coming back and I think we knew we would be
decommissioning the ship next, sort of a downer, we all had an attitude. Well somebody got this great idea to take a funny picture where we all expressed what we thought was humor. There is a saying about amateures and humor. Best left to the pros.

We all got our funny idea, most of it was some kind of mocking authority. Damn near all of it could get us deep in shit. But we were young and with that goes stupid or foolish.
Fast forward. Did the picture. Most of us left for Christmas leave after returning to port. Left behind our famous first class who promised to make some copies of the print for each of us to have.
Agreement between the group, this was to stay between us. Show to know one. Well, guess if your the first class you get to change or make your own rules. Talk about foolish, stupid youth, this guy was older than us but no smarter. He decided in his infinite wisdom to send some copies to his buddies at the photo school and lab at Pennsacola. Haven for plenty of brass. An Admiral I was told got wind
of the picture and the stuff hit the fan.

I show up on the after brow from leave, report in to the OD. Now I'm not some important guy that anyone

really knew. Big surprise when I announce who I am, requesting permission to come aboard that this guy gets real nervous and tells me to report the XO immediately, do not pass go, all that stuff. I show up at the XO office trying my best to remember all that Navy stuff about attention, yes sir etc. He starts to ask about the picture.

I do my best to explain it was just a bunch of lower educated youth enlisted types who let a prank get out of hand. I was hoping for some sympathy. We had all sworn to each other the picture was personal, to be kept on board in photo lab and to not show it around the world embarrassing the ship and the Navy. Then I had to try an explain each and every piece of insubordination that was depicted in the photo.

Don't know how we got out of that. I never heard anything else. XO must have done some fancy talking to get us out of the shit. As we get older, we should all say a big thanks to him, can't remember his name. But he could have taken an easy path and fed us to the dogs.
Don't remember if the first class who sent the picture got
reprimanded or not.

Says Dan: I walked past the Chief yelling at PH1 Taylor, "HOW DARE YOU TAKE MY PICTURE AND WITHOUT MY PERMISSION PUT IT ON SOMETHING LIKE THIS!"

It was kind of cool to watch a First Class Petty Officer look as humble as a lowly enlisted man of our stature getting chewed out because the deck was swabbed good enough. But it was also pretty scarey to watch a PH1 get his Navy career pretty much ruined for good in front of your eyes.
As for me, I was a short timer-counting the days.
PS, we had a Lt jg who was in on the gag. He posed for a picture but it wasn't your typical officer picture. He sat at his desk and unfolded the center picture from an always handy Playboy Magazine. The picture is of him viewing that work of art. Finally, I don't remember EVER seeing a photolab Christmas card from any ship, other than the USS Yorktown in 1969. I did a google search of Jim Taylor Navy Jim Taylor PH1, and got no hits. Jim are you out there?

We all looked forward to hitting the beach in Europe to get laid by some nice white girls (if truth be told). Many of us had Dads who served in the Army in "the Big One" and we wanted to see what Europe was all about, since they all told us of the good times but left out the stories of their buddies getting blown to hell and facing the Nazi guns.
As most of my buddies were photographers, we wanted to scarf up some German camera gear or something at cheaper prices.
But one strange duck, a "white crow" as the Germans would call him, searched all over Kiel Germany and came back with his prize...A COO COO CLOCK! He was a PH3 from one of the squadrons. He was the type who could never take a joke, had a very brittle personality and felt deeply insulted with the usual male bonding/practical joking that took place on a US Navy ship around the clock. You could put a wig on him and a dress and he would be the perfect, most extreme bitch. He thought his new purchase was splendid. He hung it up in the photo lab on the bulkhead and pulled down the weights and and sat there and marveled at this fine German craftsmanship. We all thought he was crazy.
But wait, there's more! (as they say in the info commercials).
2/3 of the division was at liberty in Germany leaving just one E3 to watch the photo-lab. I was in my dress blues and had to run up to the photo lab to get something before I hit the beach. I turned the door knob BUT THE PHOTOLAB WAS LOCKED.
In my 3 years plus on board aircraft carriers I don't remember the door to that photo lab ever being locked! As a PH2 I had a key and swiftly opened the door only to see the very quiet, very large muscular sailor E3

Bauer admiring himself in the mirror, wearing a Nazi German Army uniform, with a tiny little mustache drawn under his nose, his hair was combed at an angle across his forehead and he was holding a big stick that we used to stir our 20 gallon tank of developer.
I looked at him out of the corner of my eye. He looked at me very alarmed that I saw him like this. Apparently, when he had liberty earlier in our visit in Germany, he found a junk shop that sold him a Nazi uniform under the table, as I am sure such items were outlawed in Germany in the late sixties.
I got my shit and got the hell out of there. He had about 100 pounds on me and it was all muscle. He was the VERY QUIET TYPE who never said two words to you and today I see him dressed up like Der Fuehrer!
I didn't want to say anything to him or even look at him directly or make eye contact for fear he would mistake me for Poland for something and beat the living shit out of me with the chemical stiring rod.
Looking back...to think we all shared the same berthing spaces with these psychos and slept helplessly and innocently through the night. (Hey Pat, should I tell the VA about this? Sounds like a genuine "Stressor" for PTSD, eh?)

The Yorktown tied up at Yakoska Japan several times and it was just a train ride away

from Tokyo. A group of us, wearing our US Navy dress blues, went to Tokyo to see the bright lights. We stopped off at the largest Tokyo Department Store in Japan's crowded big city. After shopping there for a while, we went out the front door and stood under the big overhang of the Department Store and hailed a taxi cab. We told the Japanese driver "take us to the USO" He kept saying NO NO NO. We said, "we'll pay you what do you want?' He kept saying "No no no!" Finally, we paid him and in advance.

About six Yorktown sailors stuffed ourselves into that tiny cab and the driver stepped on the gas. He made a quick left turn, then another quick left turn down the big alley behind the department store. I looked out the window to see hundreds of Japanese faces flash by and the neon signs of Tokyo. He made a couple of turns and suddenly and before you know it; our final stop.

We get out and go inside the building of the USO. Its on the second floor. We all buy a coke and I wander around to look at things. I walk over to the window to look out at Tokyo and what do I see?

Right across the street from the USO is the Department Store entrance where we just left! The cab driver took us down an alley, down a couple of streets and dropped us off across the street from where he picked us up!